As busy working women, we oftentimes put ourselves last. We were brought up to be nurturers and caregivers, so this is what we do best. However, sometimes we are so focused on meeting the needs of others, that we don’t take good care of ourselves – especially when it comes to getting enough rest or exercise.
The airlines realize the importance of taking care of oneself. At the beginning of each flight, they go through a safety spiel in which they tell us to put on an oxygen mask in the unlikely event of an emergency. Then they go on to say, “If you are traveling with a small child, then put your mask on first and then assist your child”. The point is that we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others.
Taking good care of yourself is critical to your emotional and physical health. If you’re not used to putting yourself first, how can you do so? Here are five tips.
1. Put yourself on the priority list. When you write your “to do” list, be sure to put yourself on the list. Write down something you can do just for yourself. Maybe it’s going for a short walk, listening to music, or reading a book.
2. Schedule it in your calendar. Not only put yourself on the list, but also schedule time on your calendar to do the things you want to do – like shopping or taking a Zumba class. Treat it like a meeting, so you can protect your “me” time.
3. Do it early. Things can get in the way of your personal time, so schedule it early before the complications of the day sidetrack you.
4. Find a partner. Whether it’s having a workout partner, meeting a friend for coffee, or attending a class, you’re more likely to make it happen if you’re accountable to someone else.
5. Go on a mini-retreat. Every once in awhile we need more extended time to ourselves. Take time out once every few months to spend a day at the beach, in the mountains, at a day spa — or wherever will rejuvenate you.
By practicing these tips, you’ll be able to be the best you can be in your various roles – as a wife, mother, friend, and worker.
I’ll never forget the impact that Linda’s memorial service had on me. As I entered the church I heard the music playing softly and I saw the beautiful white lilies. My mind was filled with loving thoughts of gratitude as well as sorrow. I was attending the memorial service of my mentor and friend, Linda Phillips-Jones. Linda was someone I looked up to and admired. She was very successful in her business, yet so down-to-earth, warm, genuine and caring. She had a way of making everyone feel valued and special. Linda went out of her way to help others in their career, and had that special gift of encouragement. Many years earlier, Linda had encouraged me in pursuing my dream of starting my own business. She even gave me an opportunity to speak in her place at a women’s conference. That helped “jump-start” my business. I’ve always been grateful to Linda for that opportunity. As I reflected on this, I looked around the room, and it was no surprise to me that the church was filled with hundreds of people. One person after another spoke of Linda’s great qualities. They shared experiences of how Linda had encouraged them. I realized that Linda had not only touched my life, but numerous others as well.
I knew at that point that I wanted to leave a similar legacy. I wanted to be known as an encourager. It was as if God spoke to me in that moment and said, “Kathleen, that is your gift as well. Use it to serve others.”
We all search for significance. We want to know that our life counts. We want to make a difference in this world. What kind of legacy do you want to leave? How do you want to be remembered? What difference will you have made in the lives of others? What qualities and characteristics will people remember you for?
Linda Phillips-Jones mentored and encouraged numerous people throughout their careers. Red Skelton, the comedian, brought smiles and laughter to people throughout the world. Norman Vincent Peale was known for The Power of Positive Thinking. He shared his positive thinking philosophy through books and presentations to millions of people. They each made a positive impact on the lives of others using their unique characteristics, gifts and talents.
A good way to define your legacy is to write your own obituary. I know this may sound a bit morbid, but it gets you to think deeply about your life and the kind of impact you want to make. Pretend that you’ve lived a long and fulfilling life. How would you like your obituary to read? Loving wife and mother? Caring friend? Humanitarian? The idea is to write your obituary now, and then work on living up to it for the rest of your life. You’ll not only be a blessing to others, but also be blessed yourself.
To learn more about defining your life purpose, read the workbook “Finding Your Purpose and Passion in Life” by Kathleen Barton.
Do you take a vacation from work each year? More and more U.S. workers are forgoing vacation time. Many people put off taking a vacation and one day realize that they haven’t had a vacation in years. For some, work can be so overwhelming that they don’t think they can afford to take time away from their jobs. They fear that the work will pile up even more when they get back. Others are so dedicated to their job/career that they view their accumulated vacation time as a badge of honor. You probably know someone who boasts of not taking a vacation for years. Statistics paint a pretty dismal picture.
- Twenty-six percent of Americans take no vacations at all.
- Only 14% of Americans take two weeks or more at a time for vacation.
- Employees hand their companies more than $21 billion in unused vacation days each year.
- The average American spends more time in the bathroom than on vacation!
Even those workers who take a vacation are still tied to work via e-mail and voicemail. In fact, 61% of Americans check e-mail while on vacation. That’s not a real vacation! We need time off to rest, relax and rejuvenate. If we don’t take time for ourselves, then we’ll get burnt out. If we’re burnt out, then our productivity goes down and our health suffers. Health experts say that people can decrease their risk of a heart attack by one third if they take one week of vacation a year.
Karen Ruiz, a Project Manager at CalPERS, realizes the value of vacations. Early in her career, she went three to four years without a vacation, which negatively impacted her marriage. She and her husband set a goal to take two one-week vacations a year. Now she takes a vacation completely away from work and leaves someone else in charge. “You won’t find me with a laptop on the beach,” says Karen.
If you’re used to being available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you may find it challenging to take a work-free vacation. The key is to make arrangements ahead of time with customers and co-workers. If they know ahead of time that you won’t be available, and who they can contact instead, then they and the business will be fine. You’ll come back feeling refreshed and with more energy to tackle your work. Believe me; your organization will survive without you. Give yourself the gift of time off work!
In order to be most productive, you need to focus on your most important priorities. However, even when you’ve planned your day and prioritized your tasks, unexpected things come up. The boss gives you an important assignment, a co-worker asks for your help, or a customer calls for information. How do you handle these interruptions? First, assess the importance of the interruption. If it is both important and urgent, then address it immediately. Other times you may get interruptions that are untimely or even unnecessary – people stopping by your desk to chat or vendors calling to sell their services. These interruptions are what I call focus-breakers.
Interruptions happen every eight minutes on average in the workplace. No wonder we have a hard time getting our work done! This can be very distracting to say the least. The average interruption lasts 5-10 minutes, plus it takes about five minutes to recover and get back to work. That’s an average of 15 minutes per interruption.
Here are tips to effectively handle phone calls or visitors who stop by your desk when you’re working on an important project.
- Let your phone go to voicemail when working on an important project.
- If someone wants to discuss something that isn’t urgent, ask to schedule time to talk later.
- If someone just wants to visit or is rambling, ask, “How can I help you?” This helps them get to the point quickly.
- When someone enters your cubicle or office to talk, stand up. The conversation will last shorter if you’re standing rather than sitting.
- Close the door to your office. (Yes, it is okay to close your door!)
- If you work in a cubicle, then use a sign indicating that you’re busy, such as “Working on an important project” or “Working against a deadline”.
- Find a hideaway. If you’re working on a project that requires focused work, then find an empty conference room to work for a period of time. I used to do this when preparing to teach classes.
- Post available hours. This is especially helpful for managers and supervisors. Many supervisors think they need to always be available to their staff. However, you don’t need to be available ALL the time, or you’d never get anything done! Most employees understand and are agreeable to waiting until posted hours (unless of course, it’s urgent).
By following these tips to manage or minimize interruptions, you can focus on your most important priorities and be more productive!
For more time management tips, listen to the audio “Take Control of Your Time”.