Because of the many demands on our lives, many of us do not spend time on the things that are most important to us. Take a look at what your life centers around. What are you driven by? Where do you spend your time?
For some, it’s family or friends. Although family is important, it is possible to become imbalanced. Some people, women in particular, tend to the needs of others at their own expense. Many of us have been socialized to be caregivers and nurturers. We become so focused on others, that we forget our own needs, especially when it comes to getting enough rest or exercise. One of my past clients told me, “Between work & family, I put myself last. Some days I get so busy, I don’t take time to eat. Now that I’m middle-aged, I need to be concerned about my health too.”
When we’re so focused on our marriage or our family to the exclusion of all else, then if we divorce or a spouse dies, we are devastated. We can lose the one thing that we hold most dear. Our life feels like it’s crashing in on us.
For some, their center is their work. Some people stake everything on their career. They invest time and energy into their careers at the expense of other areas. Then if they lose their job, they are devastated, because their self-worth is tied up in their job.
I was an example of career imbalance. Years ago, I was married, working full-time at a high-tech firm, and going to school. My goal was to earn my MBA to further my career. I spent all my time working, studying and going to school. I’d get up at 6:00 a.m., go to work, work at least ten hours, come home, cook dinner, clean up, and then ‘hit the books’ until about 11:00 o’clock at night when I would fall into bed exhausted. As a result I had no time for anything else. I had no time for my husband much less myself.
My hectic schedule was affecting my marriage. My husband finally put his foot down. He said, “This is not my idea of a marriage. You’re so busy, we never see each other. Something has got to change, or this isn’t going to work.” That’s when it hit me. I realized that my priorities were out of whack. I was so caught up in the ‘rat race’. I was so intent on pursuing my career, that I had totally lost sight of what was truly important to me.
What about you? Is your work so all-consuming that you’re ignoring other important areas of your life? Are you living your life according to your priorities? A good way to test this is to look at your calendar for the past week. How did you spend your time? Then compare it with your most important priorities. Do they align? If you’re like most people, the answer is “no”. If so, then you need to make some changes in your life.
My wake-up call occurred more than 20 years ago. That was the start of my life balance journey. I made changes in order to focus on my values and priorities. By living your life according to your purpose, values, and priorities, you’ll experience greater peace and fulfillment.
To learn more about living a balanced life, listen to the audio “The Balancing Act: Managing Work and Life”.
Electronic devices such as e-mail, voicemail, cell phones and PDAs are designed to make us more productive. They enable us to be connected 24/7 and have instant access to information. However, these devices also allow constant interruptions which can reduce our productivity. Nowhere in America do we use answering machines to screen out calls, and then have Call Waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place! Ironic, isn’t it? How can we use these devices to our advantage? How can we minimize these interruptions and distractions?
Here are tips to better manage voicemail and e-mail.
- Let your phone go to voicemail when working on an important project. This allows you to work uninterrupted.
- Use your voicemail greeting to answer commonly-asked questions. This will reduce the number of phone calls you receive.
- Schedule time to return calls and e-mail a few times a day. Many people get distracted by the phone and e-mail. Rather than checking your voicemail and e-mail consistently throughout the day, schedule time to do so. This will help you be more focused on the task at hand.
- Turn off e-mail notification. Do you get distracted by e-mail? My friend, Vicki, can’t resist seeing who e-mailed her every time she hears the tone indicating that she has mail. If you’re like Vicki, then turn off the tone, so you won’t be tempted.
- Read messages in your Inbox only once. Answer it immediately if possible, or delete it, or move it to a project-specific folder.
By following these tips to manage voicemail and e-mail, you can focus on your most important priorities and be more productive!
To learn more time management tips, listen to Take Control of Your Time CD.
Sometimes getting out of the house in the morning can feel like an obstacle course. I remember one such chaotic morning. Since I had an important presentation that day, I wanted to look my best. After showering and dressing in a business suit, I was ready to leave the house only to have my 1-year-old son spit up on my shoulder! After changing my clothes, my 5-year-old daughter began wailing because she couldn’t find her shoe (and of course they were her favorite shoes and no other shoes would do). As a result, I was ten minutes late for my meeting. Mornings like this can leave anyone feeling frazzled!
So how can a working mom avoid the morning rush? Here are tips to make the morning run smoother.
Prepare in Advance
- Pick out clothes the night before and lay them out, which saves time in the morning trying to decide what to wear. It also avoids the last-minute flurry of looking for missing articles of clothing (such as my daughter’s shoe).
- Pack a lunch the night before, and pack backpacks and set them by the door. This helps you avoid the last-minute search for missing homework. (Did the dog eat it?)
Simplify Breakfast
- Set up your coffee pot and turn on the timer the night before, so you can wake to the fresh smell of coffee brewing.
- Settle for a cold breakfast. Do you really need to cook a hot breakfast on a week day? Keep it simple. Cold cereal, fruit, yogurt, and bagels make for a quick and healthy breakfast.
Time it Right
- Set your alarm clock ten minutes earlier. I found that last-minute emergencies arose which often caused me to leave the house late, so I started setting my alarm earlier.
- Give everyone a five-minute warning before it’s time to leave the house. This reminds the kids they need to start gathering their things to go.
By following these tips, hopefully you’ll be able to get out of the house on time and avoid the morning rush… not to mention, feeling calm and in control!