Archive for September, 2011
Family Meetings: Your Key to Better Family Relationships

As a working mom, it’s challenging to manage both work and family.  Sometimes we get so involved in work, that our family life feels disjointed.  With both you and your husband working, and the kids going to school and participating in sports or other activities, it can feel like you’re all pulled in a lot of different directions.  It’s hard to coordinate schedules with evening meetings, soccer practice, dance class, and youth group.  And with everyone so busy, tensions rise, and quarrels erupt.  How do you manage your family life, much less find time for family?

Family meetings can make all the difference!  By scheduling regular time for family members to meet together, you can not only maintain effective relationships, but also become even closer as a family.  Weekly family meetings serve four purposes: planning and coordination, problem-solving, teaching, and fun.

The first step is to commit to family time; make it a priority.  Find a time when all family members in the household can spend time together.  For our family, Sunday nights are family time.  We’ve practiced this for ten years now.  Occasionally, we need to reschedule to another night, but we try to keep it consistent.

During your family meeting or family time:

  • Plan activities and coordinate schedules – Review the family calendar to see who’s doing what during the week.  This allows you to keep informed and to coordinate car pools, etc.  Also, use this time to plan your family vacation or holidays.
  • Discuss and resolve issues – Allow family members to bring up issues.  These can be any issues – from homework, chores, allowance, sibling rivalry, sharing a bathroom, time for TV/video games, etc.   Then discuss and resolve these issues.  At a past family meeting, my son negotiated a higher allowance!
  • Teach your children – Use this time to share basic principles or reinforce your values.  We do a short family devotion from the Bible.  For example, we spent time each week discussing a “fruit of the Spirit”, such as love, kindness, patience, etc.
  • Have fun together – Take time for fun too!  After each family meeting, we participate in a fun family activity, such as eating dinner out, going to a movie, going out for ice cream or frozen yogurt, playing a game, etc.  Each week we rotate who gets to choose the family activity.  My kids always look forward to their turn to choose!

So, what are you waiting for?  Schedule some ‘family time’ and get started next week.  Over time, you’ll find that your household runs more smoothly, and you’ll enjoy closer family relationships!

 
Negotiating Flexible Work Options

Would you like more flexibility in your job?  Maybe you have family commitments and would like to negotiate a work schedule that is more suited to your needs.  Flexible schedules can allow you to attend you child’s after-school sports or attend to an aging parent’s medical needs.  How can you persuade your boss to let you work from home, job-share or go part-time?  Here are tips to help you negotiate a flexible work option.

Research

First, do your homework.  Review your organization’s Flexible Work Policy.  Know your opportunities and limitations.  Talk to other employees who are working in a flexible work arrangement.  Find out how they negotiated their work arrangement, and how it’s going.  Also, research studies on flexible work arrangements, so you can cite the positive effects.  According to a study conducted by Wake Forest University, workers with flexible jobs were less likely to report health problems.  They called in sick less often and felt more committed to their jobs.

Write a Proposal

Next, prepare a proposal to present to your manager.  Consider your needs and what type of flexible arrangement will best fit your needs.  Also consider the organization’s needs and how they will be met.  Here are key points to include in your proposal.

  • Why you need flexibility in your work
  • What type of flexible arrangement you are proposing — flexible hours, job share, part-time, telecommuting, etc.
  • The impact on your job responsibilities
  • The impact on your customers and colleagues
  • Costs or cost savings associated with the work arrangement
  • Other benefits to the organization

If after presenting your proposal, your manager is still hesitant, then propose a 3-6 month trial period, and suggest meeting periodically with your manager to assess the effectiveness of the work arrangement.

Follow these tips to present a strong proposal, and you’re likely to get acceptance.  Your preparation will pay off in the long run by giving you much needed flexibility and a boost to your well-being.

 
Favorite Time Management Quotes

There’s never enough time!  That’s a common complaint I hear from my coaching clients.  They tell me there’s never enough time to do all the things they want to do.  Time management is critical to our success.  But how do you manage time?  Well actually, that’s a misnomer.  You cannot manage time.  But you can manage yourself and how you spend your time.

Sometimes all we need is a little perspective.  Here are some of my favorite quotes on time management.  Hopefully, they’ll give you some perspective.  Pick out a favorite quote and review it often to remind yourself of its truth.

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time.  You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”                                             – H. Jackson Brown

“Until you value yourself, you will not value your time.  Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”                                   – M. Scott Peck

“It’s how we spend our time here and now, that really matters.  If you are fed up with the way you have come to interact with time, change it.”              – Marcia Wieder

“A wise person does at once, what a fool does at last.  Both do the same thing; only at different times.”                                 – Baltasar Gracian

“The bad news is time flies.  The good news is you’re the pilot.”       – Michael Altshuler

What is your favorite time management quote?  Please share with other readers.

 
Balancing Work and a Sick Child

It’s 7 a.m. and Darlene discovers that her 7-year-old son is sick with a 101 degree fever.  It couldn’t have happened on a worse day – the day of her important customer presentation!  Does Darlene panic and scramble for back-up care?  Or does she have a back-up plan in place?  As a working mom, how can you handle these last-minute surprises?  Here are 5 tips for what to do when your child is sick.

  1. Plan in Advance – Discuss with your spouse how you will handle a situation when your child is sick.  Most importantly, have a back-up plan in place.  Does one or the other of you stay home?  Do you have a family member or neighbor that you can rely on?  Are you aware of a child care center that will take mildly sick children?  Discuss your options and have phone numbers handy.
  2. Build a Strong Support Network – As a working mother, it’s important to have a strong support network, especially if you are a single parent.  Hopefully, you have family close by that you can rely on in a pinch.  Develop relationships with friends and neighbors, in particular, stay-at-home moms or retired folks, who may be able to help out when needed.  Be sure to return favors in order to maintain good will.
  3. Determine who will Stay Home with your Child – If both you and your husband work outside of the home, then check your calendar for the day and determine who would be in the best position to stay home with your child.  If you don’t have any important meetings scheduled that day, then it may be your turn.  Or as another option, the two of you could split the day.  For example, you go into work in the morning and your husband goes in to work in the afternoon.
  4. Telecommute / Work from Home – Do either of you have the option of working from home?  This may be the best alternative.  Then either you or your husband can take care of your sick child and get some work done.
  5. Save your Sick Days – Try to save your sick days so that you have leeway to take a sick day when your child is sick.  Then you can avoid taking unpaid days.

By considering these options and having a back-up plan in place, you’ll feel relieved knowing your child will be properly cared for when sick.