It’s Wednesday at 1:45 in the afternoon. Alexis receives a call from her son’s school saying he’s sick with a 101 degree fever, and needs to be picked up from school. Alexis is getting ready to go into an important meeting with a client, and her husband is out of town on business. Alexis panics – she’s not sure who she can call for help. How about you? Do you know who you can call in an urgent situation such as this? Hopefully, you have a list of names and numbers you can call for back-up help.
For working moms, having a strong support network is essential. Given that life is unpredictable, you never know when you’ll need assistance — someone to pick up your child from school, or back-up child care, or someone to take care for your sick child.
Who should be in your support network? Here’s a list:
Boss – A boss can support you by allowing flexibility when needed – to attend parent-teacher conferences or school performances, or to stay home with a sick child.
Co-workers – Co-workers can support you by filling in when you cannot be at work – so you don’t have to come back to twice the work!
Spouse – Your spouse can share household and childcare responsibilities.
Children – Even your children (depending upon their age) can take responsibility and do their part.
Family — Your extended family can support you by providing back-up child care.
Friends – It’s great to have friends who can help in times of need – to trade-off carpooling or caring for children.
Neighbors – A neighbor can help out in a pinch; for example, to pick up your child from school.
Paid Services – These include your child care provider, emergency child care, and household services (including housecleaning, gardening, pest control, window washing, errands, shopping, etc.).
How strong is your network? What’s missing? If you find your support network is not as strong as you’d like, then gain the support you need. Then when you’re faced with an unexpected call, you’ll know who to ask for help.
What are you grateful for? Your family or friends? Your job? Your health? Count your many blessings every day. It’s a good practice to help you stay positive. Not only can you count your blessings, but also do a good deed. Research shows that performing an act of kindness, however small, will boost your mood. Doing for others will actually lift your spirits!
Here are ten ways to spread an attitude of gratitude:
- Mail an unexpected card to a relative or friend.
- Look for something beautiful in one person each day.
- Provide a shoulder to lean on.
- Take a plate of homemade cookies to work.
- Visit someone elderly.
- Say thanks to someone who may not expect it (custodian, bus boy).
- Lend a favorite book.
- Let someone ahead of you in line.
- Share a flower from your garden.
- Compliment a sales clerk.
What are other ways you spread an attitude of gratitude? Please share with other readers.
How many times have you wished you could press the Pause button and put the world on hold? Just a 5-second delay to conjure up the perfect excuse? A time-warp device hasn’t been invented yet, however, here’s information to help you think on your feet. As working women, you contend with more than your fair share of sticky situations – from pushy PTA moms to demanding bosses. There’s no end to the overzealous people who want you to spearhead a committee, join a walkathon, or work a little overtime. You can save yourself from exhaustion and exasperation. Here are common scenarios you may encounter.
Situation: A pushy PTA mom guilts you into the latest fund-raising effort – or – a colleague wants you to join her charity’s Walkaton.
What to Say: “My cause is [insert favorite charity], and that’s where I allocate my money and energy.” You can explain why, if you like, but you don’t have to. If you gave your time or money to every worthy cause, you’d have no time or money left.
Situation: During your busiest time of year, a professional acquaintance asks you to speak at a conference she’s organizing.
What to Say: “My schedule is pretty full, and I’m not sure if I can take this on, but if you want to send me the information I’ll take a look.” Rather than automatically saying “yes”, this gives you time to evaluate the importance of the opportunity. Ask yourself a few questions. Do I have expertise in this field that is important to share with others? Is it a cause I’m passionate about? How will the time away impact my work and my family?
Situation: On Friday afternoon, your boss asks you to take on a project that’s going to eat up your whole weekend. You want to be a team player, but you have important plans this weekend.
What to Say: Explain your time constraints, and then ask your boss for advice about how he suggests you get the work done. It’s possible that your boss wasn’t thinking about how this project and deadline would mess up your life. So let him know what this will mean to your schedule. You can tell him you don’t want to disappoint your family, and ask if this really has to be done by Monday.
The next time you find yourself in one of these or similar situations, you’ll know how to respond and can finally come up with exactly the right words (without having to come right out and say “no”).
Every day after school, some 15 million children nationwide go home to an empty house, according to a 2009 Afterschool Alliance study. If you’re the parent of a “latchkey kid”, I imagine your primary concern is your child’s safety.
First, it’s important to determine if your child is ready to stay home alone. There’s no specific age by which children are ready, since developmentally, children can be so different. Consider how mature your child is. Take into account how your child might respond to a variety of everyday situations – such as someone coming to the door, as well as how he or she might react in an emergency situation.
If you think your child may be ready, give it a trial run. For example, go shopping for an hour or so in the afternoon. See how your child handles being alone. Some children really like the independence, while others are afraid to be by themselves.
When you child is ready for the independence, prepare him or her. Here are a few tips:
- Checking in – Have your child check in with you as soon as he or she arrives home from school. With cell phones it’s easy to keep in touch by calling, leaving a voicemail, or sending a text message.
- Rules – Establish and discuss rules for everyday occurrences such as answering the door, snacks, cooking, homework, and TV/video games.
- Emergency plans – Discuss what to do in an emergency, and post a list of important phone numbers next to the phone.
Preparing your child to be home alone will help ease your mind. You’ll feel more confident that your child will be able to handle himself in any situation — and be safe!
You just get off the phone with an irate customer who yells at you for not receiving her order in time for a major event. You’re feeling very tense and stressed out right now. What do you do? One of the quickest and easiest ways to counter stress is available to you at any time –- which is breathing.
When we become stressed, we tend to breathe shallowly from the chest. The antidote to this is deep breathing from the belly. Studies show that as little as one full breath starts to turn tension into relaxation. With just a half a dozen deep breaths your body can be in a state of relaxation.
Try it out for yourself.
Make yourself comfortable in your chair, and plant your feet firmly on the ground. Take several long, slow, deep breaths, breathing in fully and exhaling slowly. Close your eyes, and allow your breath to find its own natural rhythm. Become aware of your stomach, as it expands on the in-breath and relaxes and contracts on the out-breath.
Count to five on the in-breath and say “relax” to yourself as you slowly exhale. If you’re distracted and your minds wanders from counting, then simply notice the distraction like clouds floating by, and return to focus on your breathing.
Next, bring your attention to the area of your body where you experience tension or tightness, and imagine that area releasing and relaxing each time you exhale. Continue focusing on your breathing and releasing tension until you feel very relaxed.
Then, when you’re ready, open your eyes, and return fully alert to the present moment.
Use this relaxation technique whenever you’re feeling especially tense – at the office, in your car, or at home. You’ll find that in a matter of minutes you can let go of tension (and forget about that irate customer!).