As a working mom, it’s challenging to manage both work and family. Sometimes we get so involved in work, that our family life feels disjointed. With both you and your husband working, and the kids going to school and participating in sports or other activities, it can feel like you’re all pulled in a lot of different directions. It’s hard to coordinate schedules with evening meetings, soccer practice, dance class, and youth group. And with everyone so busy, tensions rise, and quarrels erupt. How do you manage your family life, much less find time for family?
Family meetings can make all the difference! By scheduling regular time for family members to meet together, you can not only maintain effective relationships, but also become even closer as a family. Weekly family meetings serve four purposes: planning and coordination, problem-solving, teaching, and fun.
The first step is to commit to family time; make it a priority. Find a time when all family members in the household can spend time together. For our family, Sunday nights are family time. We’ve practiced this for ten years now. Occasionally, we need to reschedule to another night, but we try to keep it consistent.
During your family meeting or family time:
- Plan activities and coordinate schedules – Review the family calendar to see who’s doing what during the week. This allows you to keep informed and to coordinate car pools, etc. Also, use this time to plan your family vacation or holidays.
- Discuss and resolve issues – Allow family members to bring up issues. These can be any issues – from homework, chores, allowance, sibling rivalry, sharing a bathroom, time for TV/video games, etc. Then discuss and resolve these issues. At a past family meeting, my son negotiated a higher allowance!
- Teach your children – Use this time to share basic principles or reinforce your values. We do a short family devotion from the Bible. For example, we spent time each week discussing a “fruit of the Spirit”, such as love, kindness, patience, etc.
- Have fun together – Take time for fun too! After each family meeting, we participate in a fun family activity, such as eating dinner out, going to a movie, going out for ice cream or frozen yogurt, playing a game, etc. Each week we rotate who gets to choose the family activity. My kids always look forward to their turn to choose!
So, what are you waiting for? Schedule some ‘family time’ and get started next week. Over time, you’ll find that your household runs more smoothly, and you’ll enjoy closer family relationships!
It’s 3:00 p.m. and you receive a call at work from your 13-year-old saying that she needs to be at the band performance tonight an hour early to rehearse. You respond, “Tonight?! Is your performance tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night!” You have a dinner meeting tonight with an important client, and your husband is out of town on business. Neither you nor your husband will be able to attend the performance. Upon hearing this news, your daughter has a meltdown.
How can you avoid such situations? How can you manage schedules when you have three active kids and work full-time? By effectively using a family calendar, you can better manage family members’ activities so your schedule runs more smoothly. Here are some tips to use a family calendar effectively.
Start by gathering documents with important dates, such as your children’s school calendar, sports calendars, church youth activities calendar, etc. Schedule important activities and events on your calendar for the next 6 months. Use color-coded pens. Use a different color for each family member, and use black ink for activities involving everyone in the family. Here’s a sample list of activities to include on your calendar:
- Holidays and vacations
- Birthdays, anniversaries and other special events
- Doctors and dentists appointments
- Professional appointments (including accountant, financial advisor, etc.)
- Important school dates (Back-to-school night, Open House, performances, minimum days, etc.)
- After school and extra-curricular activities (including sports practices, music lessons, dance lessons, youth group, etc.)
- Business conferences and business trips
Once important dates are listed, use your calendar on an as-needed basis to plan a family vacation or to schedule upcoming business trips, so you don’t miss important events. Review and update the family calendar on a weekly basis. This will help you keep track of everyone’s schedules, and also plan rides or carpools as necessary. By using a family calendar, you can keep track of dates and events so you don’t miss an important event – like your daughter’s band performance!
What tips can you suggest for managing family schedules or calendars? Please share with other readers.
We all get so busy that it’s easy to lose sight of our priorities. Have you ever had one of those weeks where you’re all running in different directions? Between work, school, household chores, kids’ activities, and more, it’s hard to find time for family. How can you make family a priority? Here are 5 tips to keep the focus on family.
- Hold a family meeting once a week. This is an opportunity to give praise and discuss issues (chores, homework, etc.).
- Schedule family time to do something fun together each week.
- Plan to have dinner together at least three times a week. With sports practices, music or dance lessons, and dinner meetings, this can be a challenge to eat dinner together as a family.
- Schedule one-on-one time with each child (weekly or monthly). Let your child choose the activity.
- Have a back-up plan. Find one or two people you can rely on in a pinch to pick up kids from school, take to appointments, etc.