As a working mother, how can you become more involved in your child’s school?  Here are several tips.

• Attend back-to-school nights, student exhibits, and other school events.  Get to know the teachers.  Listen to their plans and what they hope to accomplish with their students.
• Attend Parent/Teacher association meetings.  Voice your hopes and concerns for your child and for the school.  Help organize meetings around your interests and those of other parents.
• Offer to tutor students.  If you’re comfortable with technology, volunteer to be a computer tutor for students and teachers.
• Offer to help in the office or the cafeteria or to chaperone field trips and other outside events.
• Agree to serve on parent advisory groups to your school.  They may involve everything from school policies and programs to classroom curriculum.
• If you’re unable to volunteer in the school due to your work schedule, look for ways to help from home.  Call other parents to tell them about school-related activities, edit the school newsletter, or make educational materials for teachers.

Your efforts to be involved in your child’s school will not only help your child, but also help to make better schools!

Years ago, a wise woman introduced me to the concept of life stages, which really helped me put life into perspective.  At certain stages of our life, certain things are more important than others.  And our priorities change over time.  For example, as a young adult, I was focused on earning a college degree, and then establishing a career.  As single adults, we oftentimes have more time to devote to our career.  We’re anxious to prove ourselves in the work world.

Once children come along, everything changes.  As new mothers, we find that our time is not our own.  Our life revolves around our infant who is totally dependent upon us.  When we have young children, they become our focus.  Many women put their career on the back burner during this time.  They’re willing to invest more in their kids than in their career.  Trudy Triner scaled back to part-time work after her son was born.  She did consulting work from home two days a week.  “That was the right thing for me to do,” says Trudy.  “I’ve never regretted it for one second.”   As their children grow older, many women put more energy into work and advancing their careers.  Finally, once women retire, they have more time to enjoy grandkids, travel, and get more involved in church or community activities.

To apply the concept of life stages: 1) outline your life stages, 2) determine your priorities at each stage, and 3) plan accordingly.  As a young woman, I knew I wanted to go into business for myself, but the timing wasn’t right.  I had two young children, and didn’t have the time or energy to invest in starting a business.  Embracing the concept of life stages helped me be patient enough to start my business when the timing was right.  Currently, I dream of being more involved in ministry at my church.  However, I know once I retire, I’ll have a lot more time to focus on ministry.  By applying the concept of life stages, you CAN have it all – over a lifetime!

Start by reviewing your life purpose or vision statement.  Your personal vision gives purpose and meaning to your life.  It clarifies your values, and provides focus and direction.  If you don’t already have a written personal vision statement, then set aside time to work on it.  Finding Your Purpose and Passion in Life is a great resource, which walks you through the process of creating your personal vision statement.  This workbook is available at www.YourLifeBalanceCoach.com/products.htm.

Review your personal vision to see if it still reflects your deepest values and priorities.  Your personal vision encompasses: what you want to have in your life, what you want to do, and the person you want to be.  Ask yourself these questions:

• What would I like to have during my lifetime? (Own my own home, vacation property, a boat, a retirement account, etc.)
• What would I like to do in the course of my lifetime? (Earn a Master’s degree, travel the world, volunteer in a homeless shelter, etc.)
• What kind of person do I want to be? (Kind, compassionate, hard-working, responsible, etc.)

In reviewing your answers to these questions, determine if there’s anything important missing from your vision statement.  Do you need to add to or modify your personal vision?  Make any edits as necessary.

As you review your personal vision, evaluate yourself.  Ask yourself, “Am I living out my life purpose?”  If not, are you striving toward it?  Finally, consider what you can do this year to move toward your personal vision.  Then set a goal or goals that align with your personal vision.

Taking time out to review your life purpose helps you stay focused on your personal vision so that you can live the life of your dreams!

Those days can be avoided by keeping a spiritual focus.  The spiritual realm is where we find our sense of purpose and meaning in life.  For the majority of us, that’s found through God, given 70% of Americans believe in God.  How do you keep God at the center of your life?

The key for me is spending quiet time with the Lord each morning.  I take about 20 minutes to pray, meditate on God’s Word, and reflect on my life.  I also focus on what I’m grateful for, since everything we have comes from God.  This gives me perspective, and helps me start the day off on the right foot.  That doesn’t mean that everything will necessarily go smoother, however, I’m better equipped to deal with life’s daily challenges.  I find that the days I end up feeling beaten up, are the days in which I skipped my quiet time, because I didn’t think I could afford to spend the time.  How wrong I was!

I also ask God for guidance and direction throughout the day.  This is the difficult part, since sometimes I get so busy during the day that I forget about God.   However, when I’m faced with important decisions, then I ask what God would have me do.  Daily, we face decisions as to how to spend our time.  When we make decisions based upon our values and priorities, we’ll feel at peace and have greater balance in our life.

I think of the analogy of a pinwheel.  When you spin a pinwheel, the pin holds the wheel together.  The Lord is the pin in the wheel.  When we get busy, God holds our life together.  If there were no pin, then we’d be scattered everywhere, flying off in lots of different directions.   Our life would be chaos!  But with the Lord at the center, he gives us focus, which results in better balance.  If you center your life on the Lord, and live according to Godly values and priorities, you’ll experience grater peace, harmony and balance.

Here are some of my favorite stress management quotes.  These provide important truths to live by.  Choose one quote that really resonates with you.  When you find yourself getting uptight and anxious in the coming weeks, then reread your quote.  You might even commit it to memory.

“There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace.  Your will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.”          Dr. Joyce Brothers

“If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.”             Henry David Thoreau

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone… The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”             Julie-Jeanne-Eleonore de Lespinasse

“Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency.”        Lin Yutang

“There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.”              Ruth Stout

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”            Lily Tomlin

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”     Bertrand Russell

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”     Mohandos K. Gandhi

True success is following and achieving your dreams in life.  It starts with a dream.  Having a clear vision of what you want out of life is the first step towards success.  You need to know what is important, what motivates you, and what you want to achieve.  Every successful person starts with a vision.  They visualize their desired end result in every venture.  This applies to all facets of life, from a completed project to a successful business or a happy family.  Stephen Covey, author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” calls this Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind.

What do you want to accomplish?  Visualize yourself getting your book published.  Visualize yourself getting a patent for your invention.  Visualize yourself taking a trip to Europe.  Your vision gives you a sense of purpose and direction.  It provides focus and acts as a motivating force to help you succeed.

Our minds are very powerful.  Oftentimes, what we focus on is what we get.  So focus on success.  Visualize yourself achieving your goals.  Do so in great detail.  For example, visualize yourself earning the recognition of your peers at an awards banquet when you receive the Top Employee of the Year award.  The Master of Ceremonies has called your name, everyone is applauding and you walk up to receive your plaque.  How do you feel?  Probably pretty proud of yourself!  Not only see yourself being successful, but feel it too.

When you stay focused on a positive outcome, opportunities oftentimes come your way.  Jim Carey, comedian and actor, took this a step further.  He wrote himself a check for ten million dollars for “Services Rendered”, dated it, and kept it in his pocket.  When times were tough he would sit on a hillside overlooking Hollywood and imagine himself as a famous movie star.  Then he’d reread his check as a reminder of his goal.  A few years later he signed a deal for more than ten million dollars to star in The Mask.  The date?  Almost identical to the one written on the check that he kept in his pocket.  This shows the power of visualization combined with an intense focus on your goal.

Visualization can be very powerful indeed.  What do you want out of life?  Visualize yourself living the kind of life you want.  Having a crystal-clear vision is the first step towards success.  Visualize your desired end result, stay focused on your goal, and you will achieve it.  And you’ll experience the satisfaction that comes with achievement.

For more information on goal achievement, listen to the CD “Beyond New Year’s Resolutions: How to Set and Attain Your Goals“

For working moms, having a strong support network is essential.  Given that life is unpredictable, you never know when you’ll need assistance — someone to pick up your child from school, or back-up child care, or someone to take care for your sick child.

Who should be in your support network?  Here’s a list:

Boss – A boss can support you by allowing flexibility when needed – to attend parent-teacher conferences or school performances, or to stay home with a sick child.

Co-workers – Co-workers can support you by filling in when you cannot be at work – so you don’t have to come back to twice the work!

Spouse – Your spouse can share household and childcare responsibilities.

Children – Even your children (depending upon their age) can take responsibility and do their part.

Family — Your extended family can support you by providing back-up child care.

Friends – It’s great to have friends who can help in times of need – to trade-off carpooling or caring for children.

Neighbors – A neighbor can help out in a pinch; for example, to pick up your child from school.

Paid Services – These include your child care provider, emergency child care, and household services (including housecleaning, gardening, pest control, window washing, errands, shopping, etc.).

How strong is your network?  What’s missing?  If you find your support network is not as strong as you’d like, then gain the support you need.  Then when you’re faced with an unexpected call, you’ll know who to ask for help.

Here are ten ways to spread an attitude of gratitude:

1. Mail an unexpected card to a relative or friend.
2. Look for something beautiful in one person each day.
3. Provide a shoulder to lean on.
4. Take a plate of homemade cookies to work.
5. Visit someone elderly.
6. Say thanks to someone who may not expect it (custodian, bus boy).
7. Lend a favorite book.
8. Let someone ahead of you in line.
9. Share a flower from your garden.
10. Compliment a sales clerk.

What are other ways you spread an attitude of gratitude?  Please share with other readers.

Situation: A pushy PTA mom guilts you into the latest fund-raising effort – or – a colleague wants you to join her charity’s Walkaton.

What to Say: “My cause is [insert favorite charity], and that’s where I allocate my money and energy.”  You can explain why, if you like, but you don’t have to.  If you gave your time or money to every worthy cause, you’d have no time or money left.

Situation: During your busiest time of year, a professional acquaintance asks you to speak at a conference she’s organizing.

What to Say: “My schedule is pretty full, and I’m not sure if I can take this on, but if you want to send me the information I’ll take a look.”  Rather than automatically saying “yes”, this gives you time to evaluate the importance of the opportunity.  Ask yourself a few questions.  Do I have expertise in this field that is important to share with others?  Is it a cause I’m passionate about?  How will the time away impact my work and my family?

Situation: On Friday afternoon, your boss asks you to take on a project that’s going to eat up your whole weekend.  You want to be a team player, but you have important plans this weekend.

What to Say: Explain your time constraints, and then ask your boss for advice about how he suggests you get the work done.  It’s possible that your boss wasn’t thinking about how this project and deadline would mess up your life.  So let him know what this will mean to your schedule.  You can tell him you don’t want to disappoint your family, and ask if this really has to be done by Monday.

The next time you find yourself in one of these or similar situations, you’ll know how to respond and can finally come up with exactly the right words (without having to come right out and say “no”).

First, it’s important to determine if your child is ready to stay home alone.  There’s no specific age by which children are ready, since developmentally, children can be so different.  Consider how mature your child is.  Take into account how your child might respond to a variety of everyday situations – such as someone coming to the door, as well as how he or she might react in an emergency situation.

If you think your child may be ready, give it a trial run.  For example, go shopping for an hour or so in the afternoon.  See how your child handles being alone.  Some children really like the independence, while others are afraid to be by themselves.

When you child is ready for the independence, prepare him or her.  Here are a few tips:

• Checking in – Have your child check in with you as soon as he or she arrives home from school.  With cell phones it’s easy to keep in touch by calling, leaving a voicemail, or sending a text message.
• Rules – Establish and discuss rules for everyday occurrences such as answering the door, snacks, cooking, homework, and TV/video games.
• Emergency plans – Discuss what to do in an emergency, and post a list of important phone numbers next to the phone.

Preparing your child to be home alone will help ease your mind.  You’ll feel more confident that your child will be able to handle himself in any situation — and be safe!