Think of yourself as a resource, like a savings account.  You want to do everything you can to increase, not deplete it. Anytime you expend energy, you make a withdrawal. When you replenish yourself, you make a deposit. So why not make automatic deposits by renewing yourself on a regular basis?  The greatest asset we can invest in is ourselves.

What renews and refreshes you?  It’s very personal.  For me, it’s playing tennis, hiking, or reading a Danielle Steel novel.  For another, it may be listening to classical music or attending a play.  For you, it might be a hot bubble bath or a massage.

The Four Dimensions

We need to take care of ourselves not only physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  We need to renew and refresh ourselves in each of these four dimensions.

Physical:

The physical dimension involves caring for our bodies – getting enough rest and relaxation, eating a healthy, balanced diet, and exercising on a regular basis.

Often busy working women don’t take time out to exercise.  I often hear, “I don’t have the time or energy to exercise.”  Here’s a tip that worked for me.  Wear a pedometer and challenge yourself to get more steps in the day.  When I’ve been working at my computer awhile and am ready for a break, I’ll take a short walk outside.  Whenever I go anywhere I’ll park farther away and walk the extra steps.  Whatever you do, make it fun. If you don’t like your workouts, you won’t stick with it. Choose something you enjoy. If it’s dance, try taking a Zumba Fitness® class. If you have a dog, then take your dog for a walk each day.  You’ll be amazed at how invigorated you’ll feel.

Mental:

The mental dimension involves activities that keep your mind sharp. Reading classic literature will stretch and improve your mind. If you enjoy writing, then consider filling up a journal with your thoughts and insights, or write letters/emails to friends and family.  If you like puzzles, there are numerous types to stimulate the mind – Sudoku, crossword puzzles, mind teasers…  My sister starts each day with a cup of coffee and her crossword puzzle.

Emotional:

The emotional dimension involves activities that bring you joy or peace of mind.  What brings you joy, delight, pleasure?  Many of us enjoy the social connection – spending time, conversing and laughing, with our family or good friends.  For others it’s a hobby or a creative outlet like painting or quilting, art or music. I have a friend who finds her spirit soaring when she strolls through art museums.

Spiritual:

The spiritual dimension is very personal; it involves connecting with your sense of meaning and purpose.  It could be God, peace or nature. It may involve attending church or synagogue, praying or meditating.  It might be reading inspirational books, literature that touches your soul. Singing and worshiping are ways we get in touch with our spiritual dimension. And nature is a spiritual source for many. By getting away from the city and hiking out in nature, people can connect with creation.

Be sure to renew yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  By doing so, you’ll have more energy to invest in others.  You’ll become a better wife, mother, friend, and employee.

Nicole is an inspirational single working mom who has persevered through multiple obstacles to find resourceful and creative ways to break through barriers and deal with difficult issues.  Her daughter, Madelyne, was diagnosed with systemic juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (RA) at 18 months.  And yet, despite having endured more medical poking and prodding than most of us will experience in a lifetime, Madelyne still has a ready smile, sometimes mischievous twinkling eyes and a bubbly personality – all due to her mom.

With help from a very supportive family and McGladrey’s work life flexibility policies, Nicole is able to act on a moment’s notice when Madelyne’s RA flares.  Nicole does so with confidence, knowing that her team covers for one another at work.  Indeed, despite her own ongoing emotional and financial strain, Nicole inspires her team with her generosity of time, energy and finances when she sees another in need.

Always hopeful for a cure and proactive in the quest, Nicole works closely with the Arthritis Foundation and recently captained a local Arthritis Walk team to raise awareness and research support.

Your mission statement answers the questions, “What? Who? And why?”  Your business mission statement defines your products and services, your target market, and the benefits that you provide.  It includes the following elements:

• What product or service you sell
• Who your customers are
• Why your customers buy from you

Donna Fisher, in her book, People Power, suggests that your career mission statement include the following elements:

• What you do that is of value
• Who benefits from what you do
• Why you are the best person to do what you do

Here is my business mission statement.

“I empower female professionals to live a life of purpose, balance, and achievement.  I do this by giving dynamic keynote presentations, interactive workshops, and powerful coaching.  As a result organizations gain more motivated, productive, and loyal employees.”

Here are a couple other examples of mission statements:

• Cash Flow Solutions provides individuals and small businesses with the knowledge and skills to optimize their financial assets and gain empowerment towards financial freedom.
• My career mission is to utilize my creative and organizational skills to plan dynamic meetings and conferences that motivate, inform and educate our members.

Now it’s your turn.  Answer these questions to craft your career or business mission statement.

• What is the product, service, or skill that I offer?
• Who benefits from it?
• What is the value of what I have to offer?

When you write your career/business mission statement, you’ll gain greater motivation, clarity and focus to help you succeed.

If you want to make the best use of your time, then the first order of business is to organize and simplify your work space.  As my colleague, Christine, a professional organizer, says, you must be ruthless in clearing the clutter.  When you have a clean and orderly work space, you’ll be glad you were.  These tips will help you get started conquering the clutter.

• Make as much open space as you can on your desk top.
• Keep your work tools (stapler, paper clips, etc.) handy where you can easily access them.
• Purchase accordion or hanging file folders.
• Set up the most efficient filing system for your needs (with files alphabetized).
• Touch a piece of paper only one time.  File it or toss it instead of creating another pile of items to deal with later.
• Clean out your file cabinets.  Toss files that you haven’t used in a year or longer.
• Purge your phone books, catalogs and reference books if the information can be found elsewhere (such as online).
• Buy a shredder for purging documents with sensitive information.

Having a clean and orderly work space with a clear-cut filing system will help you become more productive.  A neat work area will not only save you time looking for things, but also provide a sense of peace and calm.

Women, in particular, don’t take good care of themselves. By nature we are care givers and nurturers. We don’t need social pressure to transform us into emotional resources for the family. We are programmed somehow that spending time on ourselves will be at the expense of the family, so we…don’t. We are so focused on meeting the needs of others that we forget our own needs. Or downplay them.

Maria, Director of Faculty Development at a large community college district in Arizona told me: “Between work and family, I put myself last.  Some days I get so busy, I don’t take time to eat.  And now that I’m middle-aged, I need to be concerned about my health too.”

We need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others.  I think of the airlines; they had it right.  Think back to your last flight.  At the beginning of each flight, they go through a safety spiel, and it goes something like this.  “In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the overhead compartment.  Place the mask over your face and tighten the straps.”  Then they go on to say, “If you are traveling with a small child (or someone who is acting like a child!), then please secure the mask on yourself first, and then assist the child with their mask.”  The point is this: we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others, to be the best we can be in each of our roles as wife, mother, and businesswoman.

If you don’t get off the treadmill and take leisure time, there will be serious effects.  Lynn was a middle-aged manager at HP, a driven and ambitious woman who worked long hours and always strived to do her best. Like many others, she describes herself as a perfectionist.  Because she kept pushing herself beyond her limits, Lynn landed in the hospital with a life-threatening illness.  The doctor informed her family she may not make it. Miraculously she did, but while in her hospital bed, Lynn reflected on how she’d been living her life.  She knew she’d been given a second chance. This was Lynn’s wake-up call; she made a 180 degree turn, changing jobs to take on a position with far less stress, a position where she no longer managed people but projects. She found time to spend with family and friends. She stopped to smell the proverbial roses and enjoy life.  Today, Lynn is happy, healthy and productive. “My friends can’t believe I’m the same person.”

Taking care of you is not selfish; it is necessary for your health and well-being. And anything that keeps you away from being yourself will cause you stress.  You matter.  And when you believe it and embrace it, you’ll experience freedom.

So how can you balance your outside activities with family?  Here are five tips to balance evening commitments with family life.

1. Review the calendar at the beginning of the week. Sit down with your spouse to review schedules for the upcoming week; including meetings, night school, your kids’ activities, and any other special events.  This allows you to coordinate schedules, car pools, and family time.
2. Only attend what you must attend. Do you really need to attend four events this week?  You may think you need to be involved in everything, but instead do a careful review.  How important is each activity?  And how do they align with your core values?  Maybe it’s not necessary to attend Bunko this week when you already have a work and a church commitment this week.
3. Practice the Two-Night rule. The two-night rule says that you won’t attend more than two evening commitments in a given week.  If you are gone two nights a week and your spouse is gone two nights a week, then that gives you three nights together.  I found that if I was gone more than two nights a week, it put added pressure on my husband and the kids would miss me.
4. Schedule a family night. Every Sunday we schedule family time.  We may all be going in different directions during the week, but Sundays are family time.  We take turns choosing the activity; such as going out to dinner, playing games, watching a movie, or any number of other activities.  We always look forward to this time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.
5. Reward yourself and your family. If you have a week where you absolutely must attend several evening events, reward your family with a fun outing or just some relaxing “hang-out” time together on the weekend.  Forget the household chores, and just enjoy your time together.  Having that to look forward to will help you get through a grueling week.

How do you balance evening commitments with family life?  Please share with other readers.

Bank of America – Prospective leaders are able to take advantage of executive coaching and mentoring.  They may also qualify to attend the Greater Returns women’s leadership program.

Cisco – Members of Connected Women employee resource group attend events that address a range of business topics, from office politics to online networking.  Some women also participate in executive shadowing, in which they observe executives in action.

General Mills – Women leaders can participate in an external program, MENTTIUM 100, in which they benefit from the wisdom of leaders outside of their own business, offering them a different perspective and fresh insights into their work.

IBM – Virginia Rometty, new President and CEO, serves as an inspiration to women.  Those women seeking executive positions may attend a leadership course called Building Relationships and Influencing.

Johnson & Johnson – This company’s forward-thinking Women’s Leadership Initiative affinity group boasts more than 100 chapters worldwide.

KPMG – Each business offers support for women in line for partnership and managing director jobs, which has resulted in the number of female partners growing by 48% since 2003.

The New York Times Company – This media giant made news last year by appointing Jill Abramson as The New York Time’s first female executive editor.  To help others follow in her footsteps, it offers a leadership succession initiative with mentoring, executive coaching and training courses.

Procter & Gamble – P&G’s succession planning program spotlights high potential women from middle-management and gives them increasingly large assignments that include profit-and-loss responsibility.

Prudential Financial – Those who belong to the Women in Finance network forge alliances and interact with leadership.  Top women bond at Networking Encourages Women’s Success initiative meetings.

State Farm Insurance – Many women participate in the company’s Leadership Development Acceleration Program.  Those in line for senior executive positions attend the Executive Assistant Program, which improves their ability to strategize, innovate and collaborate.

Professionals use multi-tasking as a way to get more done.  They believe it increases their productivity and efficiency.  But does it really?  This may surprise you, but there’s no such thing as multi-tasking.  The brain cannot focus on more than one thing at a time.  In reality, it’s actually switching back and forth very quickly between tasks.

Recent studies show that multi-tasking, in fact, reduces productivity.  That’s because people lose time when they switch back-and-forth from one task to another.  Each time you’re interrupted, it takes time to switch gears and get back your train of thought.  For example, you’re working on a report, the phone rings and you answer it.  When you hang up, you return to your report, and ask yourself, “Where was I?”, and then collect your thoughts.

When you multi-task, not only does it take longer, but you’re not as effective.  Think about it.  If you’re reading an email while trying to listen to someone speak, are you really hearing them?  No!  You’re only hearing about half of what they’ve said.  Then that leads to miscommunication, which can cause further issues.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re more productive when you multi-task.  If you really want to be productive, focus on one task at a time, complete it, and then move on to the next task.

If this describes you, then you need to delegate.  Remember, you don’t need to do it all!  Share the load.  Can your husband and kids take on more responsibility?  Our goal as parents is to raise responsible, self-reliant children.  The best way for them to learn is by doing.  We also want to model teamwork and collaboration – that is, mommy and daddy sharing the domestic load.

Here are steps to delegate at home.

Decide what to delegate. Analyze the job or task, and ask yourself, “Can anyone else do it?”  Learn to let go and allow someone else to dust or vacuum.

Decide who to delegate to. Balance the challenge and types of tasks with the person’s interests and skills.  Even young children can empty wastebaskets or fold laundry.  Hold a family meeting and find out what chores family members prefer.

Assign the task. Give clear, specific instructions with a deadline.  With specific instructions, it’s more likely to get done correctly.  You may need to train children to do the household task.  Share how the task will contribute to the household.  For example, “If you clean the cat litter box regularly, then we’ll avoid the nasty smell in the house”.

Follow up. Check in to see how it’s going.  Offer support if needed.  Most importantly, say thank you and recognize success.   For example, “Thank you for mopping the floor.  Look how it sparkles!”

The challenge with delegating, however, is that you don’t have control over the outcome.  Others may not do the task as well as you.  You need to let go, and stop being a perfectionist.  The benefit is that your kids learn responsibility and feel respected.  Not only that, but you’ll feel less exhausted and have more energy at the end of the day.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.  It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.”          – William Jennings Bryan

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life and don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”          – Steve Jobs

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible to be honorable, to be compassionate.  It is, after all, to matter; to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”        – Leo C. Rosten

“This is the true joy in life – being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.”        – George Bernard Shaw

“Having a vision for your life allows you to live out of hope, rather than out of your fears.”        – Stedman Graham

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a unique calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service.”        – Oprah Winfrey

“When you are living on purpose, giving of yourself in a blissful way, your personality will reflect that bliss.”         – Wayne Dyer

“Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.”       – Barbara Geraci

“It’s not enough to have lived.  We should be determined to live for something.  May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.          – Leo Buscaglia

“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life.”        – Robert Louis Stevenson

What is your favorite quote on life purpose?  Please share with other readers.